california dreamin

Easter

2009-04-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

We had a sweet day of worship, family, and enjoying God's creation. Josie was beautiful. She loves her baby who goes everywhere with her. And of course...her "beep beeps" ..the chickens...she is in love with the chickens. We have five...no eggs yet but soon.

Baby Lizard

2009-04-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Josie is very much an animal lover. We found this baby lizard and played with him but, when it was time to let him go...she cried..and cried. I could not get her to regain composure....poor kiddo just wanted to keep "baby wizard."

Mom or Dad's Athletic Ability

2009-04-14T08:41:00.001-07:00

Well Josie is strong and very mobile but when it came to skee ball...her ball ended up in the other lane. But then again she is only a year and half in these picts. It was a big kid party at the Funky Monkey. The Monkey totally freaked her out..we had to leave after he made his appearance.

The Legend of Josie Crank

2008-12-22T23:02:00.000-08:00

The other day, I asked Josie to go get her hat so we could go outside and play...this is what she came back with!!!!!! She might live in California but she has got Texan in her!

Momma's Little Helper

2008-12-22T22:46:00.000-08:00

In this photo, I was making cookies for christmas gifts and Josie had been outside swinging. She came in and immediately needed to help. So this time (you learn this parenting thing as you go) I gave her, her own bowl and her own ingredients to make Josie's cookies. She did a great job! And of course we all had "bites" when the cookies were ready.

Josie always wants to help whether I am loading the laundry, unloading the dishwasher, sweeping...she wants to be apart of it. Which is very cute, however there are days when things would go alot faster (I wouldn't have to redo things) if she wasn't helping. But when I she hears me loading the disherwasher, I hear little feet coming my way with eyes that ask...hey don't you need MY help. =) Well of course I do..even though you are unloading what I am loading.

It was on the first day I let her help with cookies (in the pink a few weeks ago) that I realize how much patience God must have for US! We always want to help...take part in His work..even though we probably just slow Him down. But He allows us to serve so that we can have joy in our work and have purpose. Some days as a stay at home mom, you wonder what your purpose is....on that particular day, I was the student. Josie gave me eyes to see just a little more of God's character.

Morning Side

2008-12-22T22:32:00.000-08:00

The right side of the backyard.

The left side holds a nice view of Mnt. Snt. Helena which had snow last week.

Even though I have an adorable alarm clock with dark eyes, I am still not a morning person. But there is always a little ancipation as I walk into the family room....I never know what my windows will reveal to me...God surprises me each day. This particular morning was indeed a "wow" moments.....I just couldn't take it all in...or capture on film. I am thankful for the beauty God creates. Beauty promotes hope...new life....and reminds me of Matt 6..if God can create such beautifully dresses wildflowers and care for the birds who are free and unfettered...how much more does he care for me? Delight in me. A good reminder for me as there are days...like today when I worry about silly things....or I just feel older. This view also reminds me of the old hymn..."How Great Thou Art"...morning by morning...new mercies I see...I am so thankful for God's mercy and love for me.

Cancun!

2008-11-19T18:08:00.001-08:00

Josie's Harvest!

2008-08-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I wanted to take some picts of Josie. It actually wasn't a good time..lighting was bad....but she has these new boots and jumper..both too big that I just had to see how they looked. Of course she couldn't walk in the boots and since she is teething would only chew on a stick instead of smile. So after I switched her shoes..she ran after the ball and found. ..GRAPES! Before I could catch her..she was on her tippy toes....stretching to reach the all too familair grapes that she loves. However we eat table grapes...what grows in our backyard is Pinoir. A very sweet ...very good grape. As far as Josie is concerned. It is time to Harvest!

DUCKS!

2008-08-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Josie loves DUCKS! However she has never seen a real one. She was a little confused when they weren't all yellow with orange feet. She was still excited to go to the park with mom and dad and "feed" the ducks. One slight problem...we couldn't get Josie to share her bread...she wouldn't throw it for nothing...why ..bc she wanted it. Our baby loves to eat...even stale bread. Oh well...still fun..maybe one day we can share with the ducks.

Josie's First Birthday

2008-08-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Josie had a great birthday weekend. We had a great surprise visit from the Winstead boys. Owen gave me an awesome train..the balls are my favorite part. On Sunday we had cupcakes, lots of ducks, a pool and more friends. It was so fun. We will post more picts once we get the picts from JaJa. =)

Jeff and I are so in love with this girl. We feel so blessed and each day Josie teaches something about life. How to live..how to laugh....how to be in the moment...she is so so sweet. Happy Birthday Josie!!!!!!!!!!

Independence Day!

2008-07-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

Ok I know I haven't posted in a LONG time...but we do not have internet. Anyhoo...this fourth of July we met some good friends, the Warners, at the Danville parade. Lots of fun. Josie had a blast. That day, Josie showed some independence of her own....feeding herself. The next week, she took her first steps. She is now walking...like a robot..but indeed walking. Next week we will celbrate ONE year with this sweet child.

Dinner with Brent and Beth!

2008-05-15T00:15:00.000-07:00

Our sweet friends are on vacation in Cali, lucky for us, bc we got to have a great evening. Brent actually married us over 2 years ago...makes me smile bc that was such a wonderful day and BW played a big part. We had a sweet evening on the porch watching the sky change colors over the vines. It was such a good night with lots of food, wine, and wonderful conversation. It went way too fast. Makes me wish we lived closer bc Jeff and I love the hangin' with the BW and Dr. Beth!

We have moved!

2008-05-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

I constantly get stopped in the store...bc of these eyes. Daddy's brown-eyed girl. Josie is blessed to also have Daddy's amazing eyelashes. This pict was taken early May.

Josie making faces at Cody.=) Ok maybe she is just feeling her new teeth still funny.

Josie out catching some rays....in her "goofey" hat...=)We put the strap behind her ears..which really makes them stick out...but we still think she is adorable.

I am sure by know many of you have guessed we have moved to Healdsburg. What you may not know is that we have no internet and may not be able to get it. So if you haven't heard from us in awhile....that is why. The house is great. Amazing deck with the vineyard literally in our back yard with Mt. Saint Helena in the background. The Russian River is also about 200 yards away but folage is so thick..not worth the risk of poison ivy. We turned back after passing our baby thru a barb wire fence..=)..it wasn't as bad as that sounds. Josie is growing. Has four teeth...Skipped the front two and went for the fangs. =) However she is now working on her front two teeth. She is crawling. Its pretty ugly but still gets around...with one foot on the floor and one knees. She wants to walk badly...pulling up on everything and will gladly grab your hands and "march" forward. Jeff is doing an amazing job adjusting to the new job. However ..we miss him as he is working 6 out of the 7 days. It is lonely in Healdsburg for all of us....but we trust God and know with time...it will change.

Paso Friends! and Babies!

2008-04-07T12:15:00.001-07:00

Christmas Pict

2008-02-26T11:14:00.000-08:00

I know this is out of order but my mom in law took this..and I just love it. Josie is a little more awake on Christmas morning than mommy. It was a wonderful morning and I love the matching pj's. I mean just look at that Josie "bear"....don't ya just want to reach out and kiss those cheeks off. Too cute!

Therapy.

2008-02-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

Therapy is different for everyone. Mine used to involved a stop by sonic. Miss that. I have other forms of therapy like going for a walk, driving, crying in the shower, rocking my sweet child, and one of my favorites...being held by my husband. But last night, the only therapy was a really good hard cry. A cry you can't fight or hold back...the tears fall whether you want them or not. I once read "tears are the feelings so deep in your heart...there are no words to describe them...thus tears are the only thing that can reflect the deep well of emotions in your heart."

Let me tell you my well was deep. Not sure if it is the book I just read, Tuesdays with Morrie, or the movie we just watched, No Reservations, but last night a wave of saddness crashed over me. I missed my mom. As I think about going back to Texas with Josie, I am so sad...and a little mad...that the one person I really want to share her with, my mom, will not be there. I want to watch MY MOM rock her...talk with her..love on her. I want to see how Josie reacts to her. I want to hear if Josie is anything like I was as a baby. So many of those things are lost. And sometimes I wonder if I will forget the sweet details of my mom. And I am sad for Josie bc she will miss knowing the love of my mom.

Plus sometimes I just need my mom. Being a new mom and wondering if I am doing things right or just having questions, I long to pick up the phone and call my mom. Hear her quiet voice and soak in her wisdom. After all, she was the mother of seven. I think mostly I miss sharing just the good things, I look at Jeff and Josie and still can't believe they are my family. And I desire to share those daily joys with the one woman who prayed for this very life for me, my mom.

You know in todays world. Saddness isn't accepted much. You pretty much can get an antideppressant for just about any reason. I think we are missing out on something God created; sorrow, grief, saddness....tears. If we never feel the full range of our emotions..how can we truly appreciate the good times.

deep breath. Therapy. Writing on this blog is therapy. But last night it was a river of tears and the embrace of my love. Today I will take some time to praise our creator. Thank Him for a mother that was worthy of missing. Great love equals great pain when lost. So for that reason I am thankful for the pain....my love for my mom was great. She was amazing and she loved me.

Josie girl...

2008-02-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

This week Josie is cutting not one but two teeth on the bottom. She has been super clingy to mommy. But overall hasn't been too bad. Also ....just so you know for those who don't see Josie on a daily basis...the ARMS!!!!!...pretty much like the top picture all the time. Josie put those arms down. =) Kind of funny...guess she is always ready..for what we aren't sure.

Sweet cheeks and sweet potatoes!

2008-02-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

What is funny about this picture is that it is "staged." Jeff thought she was too clean when she ate...so he smeared sweet tator all over her face....she didn't mind. But I think she had sweet tator boogies for a few days.

Sitting up!

2008-02-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

At the begining of Feb, Josie started sitting up on her own. One day she did it only to topple over shortly after. Pretty amazing the next day she knew how to correct herself. They learn so fast. Here she is in her room with her amimal friends talking to her best friend "Rosie." She gets pretty excited when she see another "kid."

Some Love for Daddy

2008-01-09T13:59:00.001-08:00

More Jammies!

2008-01-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

Go Tigers!

2008-01-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

Well I borrowed Jeff's shirt and the whole family was ready for the game. And a game it was...LSU Tigers are the National Champs!

Another Big Girl Moment

2008-01-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

Although she has done it before, Jan 7th, was the seriously the real deal. Hello Mom..Dad..I am holding my bottle. In the past, she has fought the bottle. Now, I think she knows there is good milk in there. And of course after you have your bottle.....it is time for a little snooze. (The swing helps with that.)

Connie's Bday

2008-01-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

Connie's 59th Birthday in Paso Robles. Much to their suprise my in-laws discovered that us folk, in the rural Paso Robles, can make a good meal. We ate at the Artisan located in the downtown square. The meal was unbelievable and topped off with a Chardonnay during appetizers and Syrah with the main course. Most importantly I think Connie was happy being with her family on a cozy winter evening, opening some gifts and being with her son. I think she was also happy she has one year until the big 60!! (jerry?) Make it a wonderful year Connie, Jeff and I love you very much.

The First Supper...

2008-01-06T16:16:00.001-08:00

Josie is now 5 months old. She weighs 16 lbs and 14 oz. and is 26 inches long! That's right our girl is in the 90th percent. And was cleared for some rice cereal. So today, we got out the video camera expecting food to be rejected. Nope....our girl ate and ate. She did a fantastic job...clearing her plate.

Josie's First Christmas

2008-01-06T16:10:00.001-08:00

Well the "Bear" had a great Christmas. The month of December has been very busy. Josie went to Chicago and had her first plane flight. She did great...didn't even cry and got her first wings. Had her picture made with Santa in the old Marshall Fields, we waited in line for 2 hours. Santa's cozy cottage was so cozy, Josie fell asleep on Daddy's shoulder. We had Christmas in Paso, and it was a wonderful time with family. Mommy and Josie even got matching pjs.

Above is a pict of Josie opening one of her Christmas gifts.....I believe it was a gift from the Brocks! =) Josie loves her toys! Thank You!

One year ago...

2007-11-26T10:18:00.000-08:00

I remember pacing the floor as two minutes passed....only to find out we were pregnant! What a joyful journey it has been. And now as I look at my child...with awe and wonder of how perfectly God has created her....I feel overwhelmed with God's love and blessings. I am so thankful for my sweet husband, his love for me and our daughter, and for our precious Joise girl. God is faithful and good to us. Josie is 4 months old.....and as I look at this picture I think "oh my goodness...how did she get so big. our sweet angel is a chubby bunny!" Good thing I love chubby bunnies!

Lake Day!

2007-11-05T09:36:00.000-08:00

Trick or Treat!

2007-11-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

It was definately a treat to see our little Josie as a Tiger! Josie and mommy went to the high school that afternoon to hand out suckers for Young Life....of course the Tiger was a hit. Half of the kids thought I was carrying a stuffed animal. Than later that night we met our friends at the Jelsos to eat, hand out candy and visit.

Our Family!

2007-10-29T13:35:00.001-07:00

Josie is now 3 months old and this is our first family picture. I am not sure how it happened but we have missed getting all 3 of us in a picture these last months.

It was a wonderful crisp fall weekend. The vineyards are amazing as they display their changing colors. Papa and JaJa were down for the weekend. It was a sweet visit with good food and good conversation. Not to mention plenty of Josie time. Notice Josie also got her first pair of jeans. Looks like she will take after mom....gotta roll up those legs and when we eat....undo that button.

Texas comes to Cali!

2007-10-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

After a death defying drive down the one (apparently the Pacific Coast Hwy gets a little scary around Big Sur), Kim and Nate arrived last Friday night. We laughed, harvested grapes (well Jeff did and the Strohs supervised), went to the beach, and even sampled a little wine. Josie might have a little crush on the trash man. Here are just a few picts from the weekend. It was such a sweet time that when they left on Tuesday ....I was a little sad. I have been so blessed with sweet friendships here on the central coast but there is nothing like a friend who has walked in life with you. So fun to see our answers to many prayers in real life...our husbands. Weird but they are very similar.

Kim and Mel at Bubble Gum Alley in San Luis Obispo. Notice the guy in the background leaning on the gum alley. Gross!

Miss Josie and Nate. Watch out Chris Blake (Josie's Paso Beau) she was making "eyes" at Nate all weekend.

Ladies of leisure. Monday morning we headed to the beach. Had breakfast at Avila then went to Pismo to check out the shops.

Kim and Nate on Pismo Pier.

Nate and Kim under the Avila Pier...tricky...

Two Month Check Up

2007-10-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

This morning Josie went in for her two month check up. Our little chubby bunny now weighs 12 lbs 4 oz and is 23 inches long. She is doing great. Holds her head nicely and is already standing with some help. However today she also got her first shots. Thankfully Jeff was with us bc I just cried thru the whole thing. It kills me to see her hurt..crying....laying on that table. Its horrible. She of course is fine and sleepy today.

There are many things I am learning to be true. Like "it hurts me more than it hurts you"....usually this proceeded a spanking but today I felt the truth of this phrase. I am also learning I will never be worry free again. Even though Josie is sleeping more hours, I still get up to check and see if she is breathing. Also as a parent, you don't have the right to be selfish anymore. You can't just set the child aside while you do your thing. (I realize this when I long for a Sunday afternoon nap...to just sleep as long as I want...or a bath without taking the bouncie seat with me.=) I have so much to learn but one thing is for sure....I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL! and would do anything for her.

I attached a super cute pict of Josie (in girly clothes) with her daddy.

Josie and the Pussycats!

2007-10-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was in Target looking at costumes when I saw this cat costume. I was really looking for a bear costume bc we call Josie our "bear" cub....or refer to her as "the bear"..Josie Bear. Common comments in our house could be "Don't wake the bear", "The bear is hungry.", "Uh oh ....the bear is upset.", etc.

Anyway....I thought I could play off her name and use the costume. However I bought two different costumes and after trying both on...this one was the loser. You will have to wait til Halloween to see what our little Josie chose to be. =)

A Happy Bath time!

2007-10-04T13:47:00.001-07:00

Going to the Beach!

2007-10-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

This week Mac and Millie traveled south to see us in Paso Robles, CA. Since Jeff was sleeping (harvest has started) we went to the beach. It was a beautiful day at Avila Beach. We had lunch at the custom house, listened to the ocean and snapped a few picts. We were so thankful that Mac and Millie were able to come down.

Josie helps daddy.

2007-09-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

Josie has been a HUGE help. She is reading and editing daddy's thesis...even though she her dress is casual she is all business when she is giving her insight. Now she just needs to get big enough to type. =)

Puppies!

2007-09-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Josie's playard has a mobile with brown puppies...Nothing special but when you start to wind it....the girl LOVES her puppies...she gets so excited and you see some of her best smiles. She is "talking" more and more....her and her daddy share secrets. And her smiles are getting larger and sweeter....nothing like your daughter smiling at you to make you want to cry with joy. She also seems to have been blessed with her daddy's eyelashes......she is already a a heartbreaker...but she only has eyes for puppies! (and daddy..duh)

Nap Time

2007-09-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

Not sure what I was doing (bc hello before me Jeff didn't even nap) but I came around the corner to find EVERYONE napping. Pretty darn cute.

Josie meets Mac & Millie!

2007-09-28T16:04:00.001-07:00

Jeff's grandparents, Mac and Millie, are here in Cali for a visit. They are celebrating 60 years of marriage! Josie had the opportunity to hang out with her great grandparents and even continue a family tradition of taking a bath in the kitchen sink. (She wasn't to happy about it....but she smelled a whole lot better)

One Month!

2007-09-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday marked one month of Miss Josie Kayleen being in this world. It was also her 2 time in church. And her second time to "light up her shorts" in church....and yes she does it when we are praying or all is quiet. (Jeff and I shake with laughter....hoping the people around us don't think it was us..bc the noise is BIG.) Jeff and I continue to give praise to God for the privledge of being Josie's parents. We are so thankful.

Josie had her one month appt today. She now weighs 9 lbs 10 oz and is 21 1/2 inches long. Dr. says she is excellent and right on track. Always good for a mom to hear.

She is locking onto eyes now. Cooing and smiling and even interacting with her toys. She tracks very well. Of course we think she is advanced...I mean duh......all those years of me keeping my body in prime condition (sonic drinks....hamburgers ..fries....bueno) has to pay off. =)

Wish you all could see her for yourself. I must admit I long for Texas to share my girl with my friends and family. ...I especially wish my mom was here to share in this time. Makes my heart a little sad. sigh.....someday soon we will travel to Texas.

Oh these picts were taken today after a bath...I was letting Josie "air out".....however our photo session didn't last too long...as someone (not me) peed on the bed.

Just a Swingin'

2007-09-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

This week we got Josie a SWING! Yeah...not only for Josie but for Mommy. This wonderful invention has given Mommy time to do some things around the house.

Daddy's Girl

2007-08-28T23:03:00.000-07:00

From the moment Josie open her eyes and took her first breath, Jeff was in love with this little girl. Makes me smile even as I write....for there is nothing greater than watching your husband love on your daughter. Jeff does this very well. This past weekend Jeff was helping me get ready for a baby shower. He is definately a daddy who is not afraid of housework or diapers. I love this man and I think he is even more attractive than ever....especially when he is holding our girl. (I'm sure he will kill me when he sees this picts...=) he will probably make me delete them..but oh well....I am a proud wife and mom..and I like to show of my loves)

oohhh LadyBug....

2007-08-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

Josie is only 2 weeks old but when you put her on her playmat.....she zones in on her "friend" the lady bug. Yep she just stares. The other picture of her laughing ...I love it. Her smile is so amazing.....or maybe I just think she is amazing.

Josie meets Becki

2007-08-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

This is my sweet friend...Becki Porter. The fun thing about Becki is that she has been there since the begining.....as she was on the same mission trip Jeff and I met. And God was so good to us that only 6 weeks after I moved to Cali....she got a new job just 3 hours north of us. God truly does know what we will need. And in these last two years...I needed my friend Becki. So sweet to share this new adventure and miracle in my life.

Hola Senor Jose Luis!

2007-08-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

Jose Luis and Arimida came by on Saturday to see the our little "nina". Jose Luis works with Jeff every day and since we live on property....I get to visit with him as well. Of course my spanish is very limited...but sometimes you don't need words. We are so grateful for this sweet couple.

First Bath

2007-08-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

Our little girl is a really good baby but the one thing she hates ....is to be exposed. When we change her diaper you would think we are torturing her.....she clamps those thighs together and just screams. Can't help but laugh a little. I mean it is good to be modest but with 8-10 diapers a day.....she will need to get over it.

So when Jeff suggested a sponge bath I laughed bc I knew she would HATE it. Yep she was just beside herself. She survived and is the cutest thing on this side of heaven in her little towel.

Friends and Family

2007-08-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

This week has been so fun. Jeff's mom..now "ja ja" which is how you say "grandma" in africa has been with us since Sunday. She was able to be with us before and after delivery. And we have lived in a 5 star resort every since....with every meal being more wonderful than the last.

Jocelyn stopped by just to bring me flowers....not even knowing Josie had arrived over the weekend. (Lets just say...Melodee was a "grumpy smurf" those last weeks) So sweet of Jocelyn...and she got to be one of the first to meet our little sweetheart.

Jeff's dad, Jerry, also arrived on scene Thursday to see his new grandaughter. He makes me laugh bc he fusses over her. Too cute.

OH and lets not forget her first gentleman caller, Jack. Jack is the sweet son of our friends John and Shiloh. He is just two weeks older than Josie so it was fun to see how much change happens in just two weeks. Jack is all boy...and has amazing blue eyes.........It was so fun to visit with John and Shiloh and share our experiences. Not to mention Shiloh already had some great "new mommy" tricks. Thank you Shiloh for sharing your wisdom. It will be fun to watch these kids grow.

Josie will be running with a pack of boys...as our friends in Paso are all having boys. Too fun!

Josie meets Mac

2007-08-07T18:44:00.000-07:00

Mac has literally sat on my stomach these last months...just waiting for this baby to "hatch"...however.....he isn't so sure about her once she comes home. But he did lay claim on her diaper bag...jumped in before we could unzip it. ....and wouldn't leave. (maybe ...jealous)

More of Josie...

2007-08-07T18:25:00.001-07:00

Josie Kayleen Crank

2007-08-07T17:02:00.001-07:00

August 5, 2007--1:33 pm
7 lbs 13 oz

Baby's Room!

2007-07-26T11:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, my sweet friends, Ashley and Janay, came over and helped me put the Baby's room together. This included putting a dresser together. Very funny site as all 3 of us are pregnant and Yes we did use power tools. It was a lot of work and words can not describe my gratitude for these two girls. Ashley is the bomb at putting things together and Janay's wisdom (she has an amazing two year old, Jayden, who got to hammer) is priceless. Now the room is not only cute but organized! Jeff also put in the car seat and our hospital bag is pack. So....Baby Crank can arrive..seriously..anytime!

BabyMoon-Moneterey, CA..June 30

2007-07-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I took a long weekend in the Monterey/Carmel area. I perfect destination for a very pregnant woman who doesn't want to be in the car for long. Only two hours away...unless you take the scenic Hwy 1..then it takes a little longer.

We had a great time. Friday night we had a fancy pants dinner at "The Passion Fish" The courses were amazing and the wine list...long. I will have to go back when I can enjoy pairing the wine with the course. Lets just say, the food was so good... I hurt walking out that night.

Saturday we strolled Carmel. And then back to Monterey to visit the aquarium, fisherman's wharf, cannery row...you name it we saw it. Not to mention lots of yummy sea food.

We even rented a "spurrie" to ride to fisherman's wharf. (It is like a bicycle but in cart form...Jeff didn't trust me just riding my own bike.) Anyway...this wasn't planned...so I had a skirt on....the whole time holding my skirt as to not flash my HUGE granny prego panties....Jeff kept saying "Not sure if the right side is pulling their weight" ..Of course I would laugh and try to pedal harder. However, going up hill (on the way back) I got a foot cramp and lost a flip flop...so that ruined our momentum up the hill... but was worth it for the laughter. By the way, one tourist literally pointed and laughed....at ME! Guess a large prego woman balancing on a bike is funny. Rude. =) I included a picture..even though I'm not looking (the guy who rented them...definitely a pot head) just so you could get an idea of what it looked like.

This was a wonderful weekend to celebrate...just the two of us. I am so very lucky to be Mrs. Jeff Crank...I could have never imagined this life. But I am so very thankful for it....God is so good to me.

Chubby Bunny!!!!!

2007-07-04T09:49:00.001-07:00

This is a phrase my friend Hayden and I like to use....but now more than ever...I am a Chubby Bunny! Here is a recent pict...mind you we had been workin..so I look a little "tired"..course carrying around a little extra fluff...can do that to you as well.

This is our baby's room....not complete yet...but Jeff's mom and her friend Carole...were awesome. They finished painting the room and helped put the crib together...and get things in somewhat of an order.

Now I just need to do "fuss" over it and do the fun decorating things. (sigh...when I have energy...hehehe maybe after the baby is 6 months old)

Crank House...Tourist Attraction

2007-07-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

Every now and then...we wake up and step out to find a hot air balloon in our front yard. You can pay that guy $200 a person for an aerial view.....or you can just bring a bottle of wine and we will give you a tour of the vineyard. Who can blame the guy, it is beautiful here. Over 700 acres....500 of vines.......here are a few picts...

Baby Crank Shower

2007-05-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

Just a few more pictures of our baby shower. As of this week, 10 more weeks to go! For those of you who say, oh that's not long, then I say...."it is to me!" Next week we start our birthing class, that should be entertaining. Then Jeff goes to Young Life camp with the kids....and by then..it will almost be July...the Home stretch!
Yeah!

Baby Shower

2007-05-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

Here is just a few of my sweet friends from Paso Robles, CA.....we all do Young Life together. Shiloh, Ashley, ME, Janay...and of course Jayden. (I can only hope my child is this cute and smart...he is a heart breaker.)

Sunday was such a sweet day. Becki, Jenn Holley and Connie (Jeff's mom) were able to come from the Bay area. Jenn, Connie and I went to wineries on Sat...I was got to taste alot of Grape juice. =) But we did see Jenn's future husband.....Andrew Firestone from the bachelor. He now lives in Paso and just opened a winery here. Sunday was casual...as we all went for a walk in the vineyard. Jenn was a trooper as she hung back with the me...I am slow. We sat on the porch and got ready for the shower.

Tasha my neighbor and friend..hosted it at her home....beautiful. It was sweet...and I am still amazed that many of these women I did not know a year ago. And now God has blessed me with community.

As Jeff and I sat Sunday night in our living room...looking at all the tiny things.....we were humbled by God's goodness...and amazed that one day soon ...there really will be a baby that fits in these tiny clothes. We can NOT wait for that day.

Jeff's Birthday!

2007-05-01T10:58:00.000-07:00

Jeff is now officially 29! Only one more year til the BIG 30. Of course I laugh bc I think...you aren't even 30 yet....just a baby.

On Thursday night of his actual bday, we went to La Mexicana with some friends to stuff ourselves with chips and salsa and giant burritos. Jeff sported the extra large sombrero well. It was a sweet time with friends.

Then Sat. morning we made a road trip to the Oakland A's game. Yeah that's right Jeff wore his LSU jersey (good timing...the Raiders had just acquired Russell in the draft)

All 3 pregnant ladies survived the heat of the game. The seats were great! And the A's won!

It has been a good year and I look forward to sharing the next 50 million with my very favorite guy...Jeffrey Michael. =)

Baby Crank

2007-04-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jeff and I had the amazing opportunity to see Baby Crank. All is good and on track....he or she is just perfect. However, already the baby is stubborn....would not turn for the doctor. (Takes after his or her daddy...hehehe just kidding) No we did NOT find out the sex....we just got to see the scripture come to life. ...our baby being knit in the womb. Amazing Pict. 1 --is the top of the baby's head with a hand Pict 2 --- is the profile of Baby Crank In awe of creation

Happy New Year

2007-01-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

Its a new year with new beginings. Word is out and it is true: I am pregos!

We are due Aug 4, and are very excited about the awe and wonder of a child. I love sharing every step of this part of life with Jeff. It is fun. I can not wait to see him as a father. He will be amazing.

Other than that, we are both working with Young Life in Paso Robles. We finally found a church home and we have a wonderful life group. God has truly blessed us with wonderful friends who love the Lord.

It is pruning season. So the vines look a little naked but I am still amazed at where we live. I love our house (which I am finally going to make it a home) and I love the way the fog hangs on the mountains in the morning. God is so good. One thing my mom taught me and I want to carry throughout this year: Praise = Power! So each day I try just give thanks....in the little things...it helps keep things in perspective.

Carving Pumpkins and Throwing Nerts!

2006-11-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

SPOOKY! Or just special..not sure what the "Crank" pumpkin is but it was a sweet time with our friends. Jeff was a little "out of it" since he was in the middle of harvest. He was so sleep deprived he fell out of his chair during the Nerts game. Team Crank still won that round. =) Jeff thinks I pushed him over but pretty sure he did it all on his own. Guess you had to be there to witness it. Funny.

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to HAVE COMMUNITY....and to play Nerts. This was my first time since I have moved to California. I was a little rusty but had so much fun. Made me miss long nights at the Owen's on Sunday evenings. That and a Sonic drink in hand of course.

God is so good to us. Jeff is done with his second successful harvest. And we are building lifelong friendships here in Paso...sigh....putting down roots. We are both excited about Young Life and with harvest over, having more time for each other and new friends.

Happy Halloween!

An Old Girl Scout Song

2006-09-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

goes like this

Make new friends and keep the old...one is silver and the other is gold.

I know I know. Cheesy. But this last week reminds me of it. I had a great weekend with an "old" friend, Jenn Holley. She got in late Friday and we set out Saturday for a day of adventure. We went to our local farmer's market and then off to see and taste the wine country. We even had a great business idea. Who knows..it could happen.

The second pict is from Tuesday night. We had two couples from our new homegroup over for dinner. The Jelso...Tony (Tony is being kissed by Chris) Janay has on the brown jacket and Ashley (who is married to the kissing Chris) is on the left. Jeff and I feel so blessed to have found not only a new home group but new friends. For me it has made a HUGE difference in this last weeks. Help me feel more at home.....girlfriends always do. I am also thankful that they are so inviting..makes it easier.

The background...and a God story. I met Ashley at a wedding fair...I was looking for a bathroom..go figure....and her booth was at the bottom of the stairs. I met Chris her husband first. He aske when I was getting married....I said I was gettting married in Tx.....long story short. Ashley is from Tenn. and is in Cali bc she feel in love with Chris, a california boy. Funny how that works. The funny thing is....Ashley and I emailed for months...but not until I moved to Paso did we finally get together. God is so good to bring godly new friends into our lives.

Feeling more at home....Melodee

SunnyBrook Ranch-Favorite View

2006-09-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Jeff had some friends in town and we took them on a tour of the vineyard. A must for all new visitors. This is my favorit view of the vineyard, especially at sunset. I wish you could all enjoy it with me one day.

Almost Harvest

2006-09-09T23:01:00.000-07:00

It is already September, and so many things have happened since I last posted. Like in June Jeff graduated from Cal Poly with a Master's degree. That is also when we aquire Mac, Jeff's graduation gift. He is a cat guy. We moved to the ranch house..which I did post pictures of that.
We have been on the boat as much as possible this summer but still not that much...and now the water is getting a little cooler. However, I have progressed. I can now go over the wake and I just want to jump it so bad. (Not so good at that)

I have been off work for two months. I only planned for one but work is tricky around here. And I turned down a really good job bc of the schedule...I would only see Jeff one day. You would think when you choose family over a job that God would just bless you with an even better job. =) Well not so....not yet. I have applied and applied...I even got a reject letter from Target. Now that is sad...and hard on the ol' self esteem. I currently have a job at a coffee shop off the downtown square. They open next Saturday. And I bought (ok Jeff did) some design programs in hopes that I can pick up some freelance work. I just keep seeking and praying that God will light a path. Provide life here.

I have been convicted with Phil 2:14..do everything without complaining. And I'm also studying the Isrealites....hmm....I have cried. Complained. and Cried. I miss Texas. I hate how expensive and hard it is here. But two weeks ago...I shut my mouth. And am working mentally on.."This is home" Tricky though bc..it doesn't seem that way...Texas isn't home and neither is Cali. And with mom being gone...I just feel a little ...not anchored..I don't know I can't describe it.

Praises. I do have a job. Jeff and I found another small/home group here in Paso Robles that we enjoy and for the first time in a long time...I felt like "texas melodee" when I was meeting new people. I have connected with my neighbor who happens to be the boss's wife. I am slowly but surely making friends. Young Life. I met with the director and even went to the high school for lunch this week. I am way pumped about that. So different here....2200 kids..one lunch. ..and they are all outside. Even the lockers are outside. And most students don't drive. My guess..small town and most families can't afford to buy a car. Students in Texas..that is such a luxury...thank your parents and don't take that for granted.

I was reminded recently that all we really have is our testimony. Our story. And if I am complaining...without Joy....fearful....and stubborn..then what does that say about me. About my God. I am surrounded by those that do not know Christ and I was convicted that I have not represented well in this past year. I have been too self focused. sigh....hard to admit but true.

So things are hard....but good. Guess as a Christian you can appreciate the joy in that.

The grapes are velvet purple now. Sweet. Harvest is close. Watching and walking among the vines every day have taught me ......it is slow in coming...and sometimes it seems there is nothing more you can do but wait....wait for the sugar levels to rise so that you can harvest. And then the process starts all over again. The only way to get good wine...is to have good fruit. How true is that.

deep breath--so I keep praying that in time. Jeff and I will see good fruit here. That we can be apart of harvest for the Lord. Funny thing is ..I don't think you ever perfect it....you see with farming and in ministry ...if you farm for 20 years. You have only harvested 20 times. That isn't a big number, and every year the conditions vary....never the same. True to life as well.

My prayer for me..and for you....is that you realize the impact and the weight of the only thing we have to offer: our testimony, our story. Does yours reflect John 10:10...full life. Joy. Or is satan creepin....Take back and claim Ps 51......the Joy of your salvation.

I miss ya'll. And would love love to have Sonic or Chick fil a with you. (I did discover crushed ice at am/pm this week...my new sonic. )

Mel

Out on the Ranch

2006-06-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today Jeff and I are moving to Paso Robles, which is 30 miles north of San Luis Obispo. Over the mountain and 20 degrees difference in temperature. We have been blessed with one of the houses on the vineyard. God is good. It is the little personal things that remind me ...He knows my heart. The house has a white fence, front porch, and on the side..there were some irises...which were my mom's favorite. This morning...I heard "no greater love"....I am sad today. I miss my mom but I know as I sit tonight..and listen to the birds in the vines...I will find comfort. Hopefully, this will be our last move for awhile.

New address:
Jeff and Melodee Crank
5595 Creston Road
Paso Robles, CA 93446

Email:

2006-06-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Please when you write ..include your email address in the message. (marcie lawson...i need your email=) Then I can reply those that write comments. Thank You.

My email is: melodee27@hotmail.com

Where there is a Will there is a Way

2006-05-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

I have no idea if this saying was established after a death.....but it should have been. Bc man oh man where there is not a will...the way is hard to find. It hasn't even been a month and I think my whole family is ready to abandon ship and/or "kill"each other. Myself included. I find myself mad sometimes at the situation, sometimes at mom bc she didn't have anything. Even if there was a piece of paper that said, "so and so in charge" or sale everything and give it to missions. Getting caught up in the drama is easy. Email is bad. Never read in the correct context. I have found myself gossipping, and saying things that I shouldn't say. In all of this, my greatest fear/saddness is that instead of coming out stronger we will come out more distant from each other. Possibly not even liking each other.

Things I have learned. Have a Will...if you love those around you.....it is an act of love. And don't have 7 kids. Two would still probably fight but dang.....6 of them going at it is more like "war" than and arguement.

"Where there is a will there is a way." This statement does have another meaning: If you perserve there is a way. "If God is for us, who can be against us" I will continue to pray (even though at this time, it doesn't seem enough) and I will continue to read God's word...and to make an effort to "renew" my mind daily. Satan is an absolute jerk that is all 0ver this. Really pisses me off (sorry for the language) Take one day at a time. One battle at a time...and beg God for rest. Restoration...and Mercy.

Please continue to pray for my family:
Kent, Kris, Shaun, John, Dan and Me

Sorry for venting =) I hate conflict, makes my stomach hurt. ..=( But my sweet husband did remind me...this is normal. Six people can't even decide on what to eat....much less more important things.

Jesus Wept

2006-05-18T23:08:00.000-07:00

John 11:35....this verse known for its brievity...speaks volumes to my heart.

As Mary ran to meet her Lord....she was weeping. Jesus knew that in minutes he would raise Lazarus from the dead. Literally. But yet despite his anger with the Jews that followed..or the fear for his life....he took time to weep. ....to share the sorrow.

Today a well meaning person who truely cares for me....told me how it is going to be ok. My mom is in a better place. "Chin up so to speak" ..even asked me to smile before she left. At that moment, I want to flip her off or punch her bc.....my heart hurts ...I miss my mom. She is gone and yes i know God is good and yes i know she is in heaven and better off......but it doesn't mean I don't hurt. It doesn't sting any less that my mom is dead. And I'm far away from my family..and if my mom was here ..there wouldn't be all this mess with "Mom's estate" etc. Just bc I have a faith doesn't mean I don't cry or can't cry....and what is funny. This woman shares faith. She wasn't wrong in her encouraging......its just today...I needed Jesus.

I needed a friend that would weep with me.

From that day on, the day Jesus risked reentering enemy soil and raising a loved one, they plotted to kill him. Funny thing is he knew that and yet he went anyway. Maybe for the sake of Mary and Martha.....maybe for the disciples (vs 12-13).....maybe for the crowd (vs 41-42) or maybe in the long run for you and for me.

I weep today for my mom. I know Jesus holds me and grieves with me.

Mom

2006-04-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

How can one heart hold deep pain and rejoice at the same time? I have no idea ...but April 25, 2006, as I drove in Carole's jeep and picked up the phone and heard, "Mom has gone home" that is what my heart felt. Peace. Disbelief. A loud "NO" in my heart....as I could look up and see the Lake Shore exit sign 2.5 miles. sigh. Only minutes away, for this my heart does weep. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much i love her one more time. And I wanted to be there when her sweet love, Jesus came to get his lovely bride. I guess I thought I might catch a glimpse of him. This week has all been surreal .....I believe in prayer. That the prayers of friends and family has carried me...has carried my family. As we sat around a round table planning my mom's funeral I couldn't help but think.....this can't be real. And how can I do it calmly. I can only say this, when I saw her body...her shell....I knew mom was no longer with us. And as I looked at that body, I could only feel joy. Oh mom, What is it like? What do you see? What do you hear? And how does it feel to be in the arms of Jesus? Oh that we could catch a glimpse. Even now I am drawn to nature.....Looking....hoping.....just to catch a glimpse of the greatness of heaven....or for me.....mom.

And never ever in a million years, would I have thought I would share the gospel at my mom's funeral. nor did I want to......but if you read my Utmost for His Highest on April 25...You will see I had no choice. I did not feel like it....and still I anguish over what I said..I should have prepared or said this or that......I guess I wrestle with it the most bc I have never "preached" to my family....and I felt such an urgency...please please...Lord let them know God. That it is more than believing there is a God....but it is a sweet sweet day to day relationship with Him. Oh I wish they could know and cling to that love in this time. I think of my mother's words...how she was the weakest lambie.....and how Jesus must have picked her up and placed her around his shoulders in those last hours...carrying her. And how that she may have been the ultimate sacrifice for my siblings......Oh God even know I cry out to you..Please go after those lost lambs...bring them into the fold. You are the great shepherd. ...the great father. Jesus I pray that you whoo them into your love. Be near. Be bold in your presence. And Lord in the meantime help me to be more like mom. I lover of your word. Steadfast in courage and strength. Help me to pick up where she left off...calling their names and laying them before your feet.

I have been sad. I don't think it really took hold until I had to leave on Friday. Leave mom's house. Leave my siblings. My heart hurts for John and Emily who are there and have been there daily. I long to be of help...guess that has been the hardest. Just being so far. I didn't get to hold her hand or check on her daily. But I believe even in that God knows what he is doing. I see John's heart softening. I pray for wisdom for him as he sorts out moms affairs.

I am thankful for Jeff. I am still amazed he is here in my life. And now more than ever I find I can't seem to get close enough to him. Can't seem to express the depths of my love for him. God is good. He cared for my mom....and took her quickly. I trust He will continue to work out the details of our lives.

Please keep our family in your prayers. As mother's day approaches...we will all mourn the loss of our angel on this earth....our mom.

For now....I will take one day at a time. I will cry. I will pray. I will remember. And I will read her notes. Rest in the promises and seek to be a little more like mom.

I just wish I could hug her....love on her. Call her...see how she is doing. I will miss her wisdom. Her love. Her letters and notes of encouragement. Mostly scripture but always sign with her love for us and a smiling face. It is these things I treasure in my heart.

My Heritage of Faith

2006-03-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

Comes directly from my mom. ...for this alone I am blessed. I want to ask you to please pray for my mother, Marilynn. She has been diagnosed with cancer and received her first treatment on Saturday. She has alot of pain and sickness....these next weeks ..months will be hard. ..and she is weary. Pray for her. Pray for strength.......pray that in the really hard times that Christ is close and personal. Intimate.

It is very hard to be far away. I (at my mom's request) will stay put for now. sigh...I trust the Lord to be gentle with her.

Thank you for your prayers. -Mel

Simple Thoughts

2006-02-13T13:14:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was a gorgeous day in San Luis..even I was warm. It was very spring like...well Texas spring (it would be considered summer here). Anyway Jeff and I went on a nice long walk which included some hills. Yeah! Anyway I was powerwalking and notice these beautiful yellow and orange wildflowers. Of course, I took some time to pick some. It was kind of annoying carrying them in my little sweaty palm but worth once I cut them and put them in a little glass of water. They are bright yellow and orange and ad just a little fun to our living room. They make me happy. My thought is simple, last night when I went to bed. I thought awe how sweet the flowers have gone to bed too. They were closed up for the night. And then I thought about dark and light. How in light (sunshine) we open up...are muscles loosen...our minds are more positive and we can just see God in more things. And then in darkness.......wether sin, or circumstance.......we close up...we want to "sleep" until the sun comes......funny how even nature..doing just what it was "made" to do......(sun=open up and show beauty..soak it in: darkness=close up tight and wait for morning) relveals God's word.

Some of my NEW favorite pictures

2006-02-09T15:46:00.000-08:00

from the best day of my life......the day I became Mrs. Jeffrey Crank! I still have not received Laura Brock's pictures (which she sent me a little taste...very nice..can't wait) or the professional photographers. They said for a 3 hour wedding they had a ton of images. Here are some more for your viewing pleasure. By the way I might I have the best looking bridal party ever. And isn't my mom sooo cute!

Butterflies and Booty

2006-02-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

Pirate's Cove actually... The Cranks had their first out of town guests this weekend, Becki and Scott. We had so much fun visiting. We played cards, danced, laughed, prayed, ate, went to see the monarchs (apparently Pismo is one of their mating spots and there are thousands), we even saw a guy windsurfing, walked on the beach, and hiked around Pirates Cove....and no Becki and I did not go to the nude beach. However a older (65 plus) gentleman and his wife asked if we go there often...uh..no. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

February 6, 2006- ONE YEAR!

2006-02-07T15:58:00.000-08:00

As of yesterday, I have been in San Luis Obispo for one year. I think back,leaving FBC that day. It was REVO, we were in worship, Mary Grace coming back, crying. Then Kim Greer. Both in awe and ancipation of what plans God had for me. And a saddness for all of us, that a season was ending and new one begining. I will never forget getting off that plane. Finally after 6 long weeks apart being in Jeff's arms again! Sigh--the world was right. Little did I know the hardships that were ahead.......It was a very hard year new culture, new church, new job, learning to be relationship, letting God chip away everything I was (even Gunner my jeep).....to just be His. Was it enough just to be "His child...His girl".......sometimes it wasn't ...I missed home. I still miss home. But as I reflect over the last year, Yes it was hard.......but it wasn't without hope. Many times in my life have been very hard and without hope........"Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fullfilled is a tree of life." I know that heart sickness well............but his year as a longing was being fullfilled....my tree is begining to take root. We are in good soil and we at this time in our lives as husband and wife...are in awe of God's love for us. And I just feel so blessed have God's best for me.

Even down to the last detail

2006-01-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

You know I have always wanted to leave my wedding in a jeep top down.........and last minute Carole and Angela made that possible. I love it!

First Photo

2006-01-18T11:03:00.000-08:00

Jeff and I were so excited to get our very first wedding photo. As we receive we will share. It was a picture perfect day. Thanks for sharing in the fun.

The Cranks!

2006-01-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

Jeff and I have a new address:
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Michael Crank (or Melodee Crank)
1021 Southwood Drive Apt. F
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401

Keep in Touch!

Faity Tales are real........

2006-01-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

Today as I look over at my husband, my heart is so full of love, joy, and just sheer delight. I had the most perfect wedding day I could have ever imagined. The music was .....well ..only the tears in my eyes can express what my heart felt. ....I love it....it wove between the story and the scripture to make my ceremony a beautiful tapestery of God's love, His promises for me.....the answered prayers. And now..I am so happy!!!!!! And let me just say that as a married woman it is so wonderful to give my partner for life all my love.........when you don't have to hold back anything......there is such freedom ..and sweet intimacy.

Thank you to all who made my day ...........a dream come true....living happily ever after.....MRS. CRANK!

Wardrobe PLEASE!

2005-12-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

Until yesterday, there was a very good chance that Jeff and I were going to be living in a "van down by the river." But PRAISE GOD, who is always on time, we have the keys to our very first home. The Cranks HOUSE! Jeff had gone to hang out with Jesse, our soon to be new neighbor and friend from our lifegroup, so afterward he called and of course I wanted to see our new place. Never mind that it was 11 pm....I wanted to see it with him. So I pulled on my Ugg wanna bes and headed out the door. I picked up and Jeff. With a giddy attitude, we headed up the stairs to our new place. We turned on every light and began to dream about how we would decorate and were things would go etc. We thanked God and reluctantly left our new home.

Then Jeff suggested we celebrate with a little fast food which is hard to find in San Luis at eleven pm. Not to mention, HELLO Melodee eating any kind of fast food before bed isn't usually good idea but what the heck we were celebrating with french fries and tacos.

It wasn't until, Jeff opened the door to Carl's Junior that I realized I was in my pj's and even had on my BATHROBE to boot. Funny neither Jeff or I had realized this to that very moment.....so we laughed at me and got in line. We ordered and went to get drinks. With two drinks in hand I sat down and as jeff was saying "hey?.." I am noticing there are gift certificates on the table. I'm like why did he buy gift certs....as I pick them up ....I glance up to ask him this only to find myself staring at a complete stranger. Wow....here I am in my pjs and bathrobe sitting with strangers taking their gift certificate.......all i could do was laugh and apologize. Nice timing since HIS girlfriend was returning. Yeah Jeff was no where in sight. ....so just sat down amused at myself. He eventually came out of the bathroom....to laugh at me again.

Isn't it funny how neither Jeff or I caught on to my "wardrobe" until we were about to step into Carl's junior.....and then it was like DUH you have on a robe. Aren't we like that many times with our spiritual lives? We walk around unprepared or with a little sin wrap around us and then we set into public (or into the light) and it is all the sudden so obvious. And our eyes have become so adjusted to the night that we dont realize how silly we are.

Long distance love....

2005-12-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

I remember those days well.....and am reminded of them tonight as Jeff packs. He will leave in the morning to go to the Bay Area. He will have surgery on his shoulder this upcoming Monday. I am bummed we have to be apart for the next weeks. But grateful that he can get the surgery over with...and bonus he will not miss school. I am going to try and get off work so I can be with him a few days. Take care of him. sigh........work stupid. At least he is only 3.5 hours away verses 3 states away.=) Please pray for him. That the surgery will go well and recovery will be speedy. This next weeks we will be reminded of the days of long phone conversations and longing to see each other. In a way, it is a sweet reminder of where we began.......

Thankful

2005-11-30T14:43:00.000-08:00

As thanksgiving as come and gone, I realize how really blessed we are, if for no other reason, Jesus loves us and came to give us a hope that can withstand this world. I am so thankful for my faith...my love for Christ and his people. I am thankful for his forgiveness and his love for me. I am thankful he is the ultimate father that adores his love on me. And I am thankful for Jeff, my earthly love and soon to be husband. I am still in awe that I am getting married to such a wonderul man. I am so truely full. God is so good to me.

In the words of Rick Warren:

2005-11-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

"It is not about you!"

When you get married, everyone says, "Do what you want. It is your day. Its about you." ...Well the truth is: that is so not sure. People get their feelings hurt. Friends and family have their own ideas of what your wedding should be like and unless you are just rude.....your "idea" is just NOT going to happen. You see as much as I would like to believe it is about me and what I want (Hello I am finally the bride) it is not. Anyone with a heart must consider other people and how they perceive your actions and choices. And like I said ...everyone has a opinion on how your wedding should go. What is funny to me ...is I wonder "why do they care so much?" They have had their weddings or will have their own one day....sigh....am I frustrated. A little. Like many things in life.....this is just not what I imagine. Dang overactive imgination. No matter how simple we want this to be....we just want to get married and share it with people we love. It just isn't that simple. =)

So what am I learning from all this......at the end of the day, I will still be Mrs. Crank. And that is the most important thing to me. All the details inbetween are enough to drive you just a little crazy...or even to tears at times....or to the JP. And it makes me think of the day that our bridegroom, Jesus will come. sigh. I have imagined it and I wonder...how "off" is my imagination.
And the joy of that day is, it truly is all about Christ and his bride the church. Nothing else.

Even so, come lord jesus.

Last Day of Harvest!

2005-11-03T12:57:00.000-08:00

Translation. I get Jeff back. My sweet man has been working all thru the night (and it is cold in Paso) harvesting acres and acres of grapes. Of course for me, it is so amazing. They fill semis full of grapes. Makes you just want to jump in there. Which I didn't. But I did get to help Jeff and Gaberiel (his coworker/friend) press some grapes...and yes even swish them with my toes. So fun. But even more fun is the fact I get to enjoy the company of my love once again. Yeah!

We are steadily making wedding plans. (Did I mention how excited I am to be Mrs. Crank!) And
just enjoying this time in our lives. It is fun. Last weekend was beautiful. We enjoyed walking around downtown SLO and just being together. This week we did find out Jeff has to have surgery on his shoulder. So we are praying about timing on that.

Other than that........looking forward to the holidays. Miss and love you all.
Melodee

Dateless but Not Desperate

2005-10-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Much to many of our friends and family's disappointment (frustration), we have not picked a date yet. It seems it is a little more tricky than we thought with making sure our family can be there, Jeff's school, thesis, work, and well just life. Funny how hard it is to get 8 people to settle on a date for dinner much less a wedding. Kind of humorous really. Bottom line we will pick a date, that basically works for us. We will do it as soon as we can, and let people know. For now we are still enjoying each other and the thought of being husband and wife. And it hasn't even been a month since we got engaged....so I think we are ok.

Other than that, I came home to a beautiful new camera. Which my poor love..didn't get the response he wanted. It is really hard for me to receive gifts sometimes, especially expensive ones. Anyway I do love my new Canon Rebel XT and can't wait to play with and enjoy taking pictures. Plus now we have a digital camera and can take pictures of where we live and what we are doing.......not to mention show off my ring.

Last night I met Jeff on the Cal Poly vineyard to do a little fishing.......absolutely beautiful. We along with his friend Luke, who reminds me of my sweet brother...Brent Warren, got in a little boat and anchored ourselves out in the pond. We basically caught nothing but baby fish but it was still fun. The colors of the sun setting behind the moutains was beautiful and peaceful. There were even ducks on the pond. However once the sun ducked behind the mountain, this little Texas girl bailed. It was cold.

I wish I could share the beauty here with each one of you. It is amazing how creative God is ...and then to be reminded ..he took so much more delight and care in me. Now that is breathtaking.

Goodbye to Gunner

2005-10-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I love Jeeps, and I especially love my jeep. Why? Well its mine and I have had alot of fun in it. One of my most favorite memories, its Camp Jeep. Where in the little town of Clayton, Ok...we Jeepers enjoyed offroading for Jesus. =)Fun how God can use any passion for His glory. I have also had sad times with Gunner. ....like the death of my sister, Kim. Gunner and I drove...went to sonic, went to the lake, worshipped.....and were quiet with just the wind noise....longing to hear a whisper. sigh. It does make my heart a little sad...like its the end of an era......but then again ...I do feel a freedom in answered prayer.

This is a season of work and of being economical and well Gunner doesn't fit that..especially with Gas at 3.09 in Cali. So Gunner has a new owner, Doug, who will give gunner big tires and a lift kit. Not to mention play with him offroad. That makes me happy. As i watched Doug and Gunner drive off.....I was a little sad but peaceful. (I didn't even cry...but maybe its bc I have already morned that Gunner was for sale. ..I had already cried.) That very night, Jeff and I went and got me a wonderful Honda Accord. With great milage and money left over for me to put towards my credit card bill. There is definately freedom in that!!!!!!!!

sigh..I guess really am going to be an "old married woman".....=) ha ha...since I got the 4-door sedan, great gas milage, power windows..and no convertible. Just kidding. duh..I still look hot. =)..I just don't have the "cool car" factor anymore.

Bottom line: Jeff and I feel good about being faithful with not only our tithe but also our cars. God gives us a mind to help us out of trouble....and for us...I love that we are working towards being debt free. That means freedom to "Go" when god says Go! Thank you Jesus for selling my Jeep and for handing us a great car in its place. You have answered our prayers and we give you praise.

REJOICE!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

On September 18, 2005, Mr. Jeffrey Michael Crank asked me to be his wife. I said YES!!!!!!!!!! and have been in awe and wonder of our love...of God's love for bringing us together. And I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M GETTING MARRIED! I can't wait...I'm gonna have everyone call me "Mrs. Crank." Jeff is the answer to my prayers and the realization of dreams. The best part is the way he loves me...thru Jeff I am learning a whole new dimension of love. A love that loves for better or worse. A love that loves in the hard times and the good times. A love that loves me ....just for who I am. A love that helps me understand Christ's love a little deeper. With tears in my eyes and thankfulness and love in my heart........I am overwhelmed with goodness and joy!!!!!!!!!

deep breath---

Jeff, my fiancee, and I have no idea when or where we will get married....only that we will and don't want to wait long. We might run away...we might have one in Cali...maybe in Texas....bottom line God brought us together and He will definately be there.

Please pray for us in these days......as we work out details. Bottom line:

It will mark the begining of a happliy ever after!

Texas Tears

2005-09-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

Today I had a southern girl moment, I cried when the DMV asked me to hand over my Texas plates. As they handed me a screwdriver and my new californina plates, saddness began to creep in......so I went outside and removed my really cute plates for boring Cali plates. Tears ran the whole time. I'm sure I looked like a freak. I just kept thinking, in Texas, a cowboy would help me do this. . . I miss southern hospitality. I miss Texas.

Grape News! and Great News!

2005-08-31T19:52:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I spent last weekend in Visalia, CA....about 2.5 hours away.......to visit some of his friends. It was fun and well there is a sonic, and it was nice and warm there. On the way home, Jeff talked with his mom. She was driving to talk Mac, Jeff's gradad into living his home in New Orleans. Not and easy task. With Connie there and Jeff on the phone...Mac left. Mac & Millie more than likely have lost everything but each other. They are held up in Baton Rouge for the time being. I continue to pray for them as well as other families in this horrible disaster.

Tonight Jeff took me to the vineyard with him. It was so much fun.....I got to pick some grapes (they taste really good....super sweet). Wine grapes have a higher suger level (brix level). We collected samples from each row....we had a total of 30 bundles. We crushed them in a bucket. FUN! and then took a suger sample. The brix level is at 23.7. Jeff will harvest his second group of grapes for his thesis in the next day or two. I hope I get to go and take some pictures. I think it is so neat. The pinot grapes look like lavender.....deep purple...almost look fuzzy but they aren't.

Jeff also got offered a new position at Gallo. Basically it is an assistant vineyard manager. They want him to do the night harvest. Ok if you know Jeff....he is definately NOT a night person. God is funny. But we have been praying that God would give him direction and we feel that this might be it for now. Thing is he would have to take a semester off, or really be pushed this semester. sigh. The good news is: the experience and they will pay for part of his school. Huge blessing.

I am so proud of Jeff. He does his job well and he still able to love on his crew. Not to mention his spanish is getting better every day. Whatever God has instore for us, I know I am blessed to be partnered with Jeff.

My New Roommates!

2005-08-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Jeff has a crush on the one with 4 legs! Her name is Hazel. Kelly is the cutie holding Hazel...both are very sweet and FUN! I am very excited about my new "home" in San Luis Obispo.

I got a new attitude!

2005-08-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

As August is quickly ending, I am realizing that "summer" is about to give way to fall. I am anticipating Sept and Oct...."supposedly" the absolute best time to be in San Luis Obispo. Apparently the tourists are gone and the nights get a little warmer. The fog rolls out to leave clear blue skys and "perfect" weather that hovers around 80.

It was so great to be "home" ..if only for a few days. I feel full and affirmed in my decision to be in San Luis and reminded why I moved....bc I have a rare love with a man named, Jeff Crank, and being away from him is stupid. I am feeling more confident in being here....more at ease. Thank you to those that loved on me well and reminded me.....I haven't been forgotten and I am not missing out.

I am now living with Kelly. She is 31, a teacher in Santa Maria and has the cutest little puppy, Hazel. It has been so nice to be with her. I just feel a little more relaxed and I am enjoying her company. I total blessing. Also work is better...I even got a $3 dollar raise! Nice...but I am still working for Stacy who owns California Fashion Outlet. Great things are happening for her....I will help her with a postcard and maybe a catalog. Plus she just opened a new store in Pismo...closer to me. However I will probably not work every weekend like I have been..it is just too much. Plus I did take a girl's senior pictures...so maybe that can be a little something extra on the side. Alot of irons in the fire...who knows which one will really work out...if any. I am checking out some youth stuff.....its just working two jobs...I don't know.

I get so wrapped up in "my purpose" ..."my calling".....when I just need to follow christ. AND if i just follow closely enough....I will always be in the "right" place.
I am learning to just relax....live for the moment. I have been letting my worries and fears for tomorrow..steal my todays. So stupid! So Satan!

Jeff begins harvesting his first "group" of grapes for his thesis. His thesis being something like this....the longer the grape stays on the vine..the higher the brix level (sugar level)...so he will harvest at different brix levels .....have wine made ....and a tasting panel.....to see if the longer the grape is on the vine...does it make better wine. Which if check out John 15:5....totally biblical....stay connect to the vine.

What else? Oh I am looking forward to Hazzzard's wedding. Jeff and I can't wait to celebrate with her and Nate. I am so excited to be apart of my sweet friend and sweet "sista's" wedding.

Tonight as I drove home....the mountains were orange...with a blue sky..then as the night came in....the mountains become purple blue..and the sky a pinkish orange....isn't amazing the beauty God displays to us daily. Sigh...if only we took time each day to just live in those sweet moments given by the hand of God.

Uncensored Thoughts and Emotions

2005-07-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

This week "my kids" are at camp and for the second year, I am not. So today when I took lunch I just drove and cried, wishing I was there. There are so many things I don't understand, questions, doubts, fears, and just the fact that camp is fun and right now...this is not. Bummer huh? It just seems like no matter what I do or try here...it isn't easy.

For example: I took a second job..just saturdays..which is a blessing but the first week I run out for lunch...ticket. Not speeding or doing anything wrong. He ran my TEXAS plates....registration is out. Then this past weekend, I went to the other store......first customer..the register broke as well as the credit card machine. I'm like are you kidding me? Thankfully God sent 3 angels (ladies who were shopping and fellow sisters in christ) who fixed both machines within 20 minutes and reminded me there are believers all around. Thanks goodness.

Still there is a saddness I cannot shake. I am not sure what God has up his sleeve but I'm just trying to see the good and purservere. I guess I would ask for those that "keep up" through this blog.....pray for me. It has been 5 months and I am so tired of being sad. It is stupid. I'm not miserable or anything....I'm just ready for something to give here.

Of course it could be just around the corner...I have an interview this week with a church. I don't know if I'm a fit or not but thats what interviews are for right? And there are changes at my job now so who knows what will happen there. As for living situation....so yeah I may change that as well. I need a place that I can at least put up some of my stuff up. Right now it is just my clothes and a few pictures. So that doesn't help me to feel at home either.

Ok well I have "vented" enough.........I don't know just helps to "talk" it out.

Bishops Peak and the Ultimate View

2005-06-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

Father's day weekend, Jeff and I stayed in San Luis Obispo so we decided we would just relax and do some of things that are right here in our back yard. Seems like we are always going that we never take advantage of the beauty around us...which is FREE.

We decided on a hike up Bishop's Peak. We park and we are off. Of course Melodee is strugglin we haven't even got to the first "break" of trees and I'm like...Baby I think I'm asthmatic. =) (Later I learned that this was the "hard" straight up way to Bishops Peak ...apparently ...there is a more gently hike around the mountain) Jeff is way ahead of me...and I'm getting frustrated. Boy has the water. Once I make it to Jeff...I start crying. He is like are you kidding me? So we sit...talk about fears...doubts and even how different we are....and that it is just hard right now. I guess in my head, I just feel like I can't "keep up"..that I'm holding Jeff back..that I'm the weak link. So its hard. So when we go for a fun hike...and he is way ahead.....gives time to think. Thus the crying.

Long story short. On the hike...I got stung by a bee and I fell on the way down..stepped in a cow hole or something. But I made it...Jeff and I decided that this hike...wasn't about "time" or exercise.....it was just about making it to the top and enjoying the view.

This California adventure has been a little more steep than I had imagined but despite the falls, the stings, and the lack of strength at times I continue on...and the best part....Jeff is right there to give me a hand, direct me, and give thanks as we take in the view.

Remember it not about the time we have in this world, it is just about getting to heaven. (That's what I consider the ultimate view) It will take some time....alot of frustration...and even some falls but if we travel together watching and caring for each other.....the journey will be sweeter.

Beach Bums & Trail Blazers

2005-05-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, was the California I had pictured in my head when I lived in Texas. It was sunny and warm (which hasn't been the case), and I had a friend, Becki to enjoy it with. We watched a late night movie friday, slept in saturday, got our toes done, and then went to the shell beach to hang out with Jesus. Sunday we went to worship, ate at Fat Cat's near the marina, and went to Pismo Beach for 3 hours of near perfection. It was chilly but once we moved near the cliff, it was perfect. We had our cooler, our bibles, and each other to sit and talk or not talk and just watch the waves roll in. We both left a with a little too much sun and headed to the hot tubs on the mountain. Real nice after a hard day at the beach. We sat in the tun until it got dark and our hands turned to prunes.......can't remember which happened first. It was a sweet time and a prayer answered. Thank you God for orchestrating a beautiful weekend.

Jeff and I have met some really nice couples in our LifeGroup. And I have connected with Rebecca one of the girls. We had lunch last week...so nice to visit with her. I look forward to getting to know them better and being more involved with the church.

Finally, this week on my ride...which my "trainer" Cassie has taken me from the arena to the trails. So much easier to ride in freedom. The ranch back up to Edna Valley Vineyard so the scenery is beautiful. I love it! This week, however, I got a little extra thrill. Cassie's horse hates the creek....hates crossing the water...so he always jumps. Mine usually has no problems...but this week she followed the lead of the horse in front...and JUMPED! That's right we jumped over the creek! So much fun!

As I continue to try and focus on the good things and the things i know are true (god's word), the journey is easier. Praise the Lord!

Hospitality Heart

2005-05-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

Today I learned that George Lucas stayed at our hotel. Of course, we didn't know it until he left. I wonder if he felt welcome, at home (being unnoticed), or did he miss being called by name. Our resort is about hospitality...as our most resorts...meeting not only the needs of people but going beyond their needs to pamper them. Make them feel special.

This is something a humble man in HOTEL RWANDA did every day. His name was Paul. He loved excellence, loved his job, and loved and knew the people he served. As I watched this movie, I thought of how different it is here in America. I admire this man...this general manager of a hotel. He did what he was gifted to do....take care of the needs and wants of people...make them feel at home....even in the midst of a horrible horrible tradegy. He saved hunderds....by serving them.

I think about how easily I get rattled at work or even in my personal life when there is a tradegy. How do you keep your cool...how do you "do your job"? I guess you do it the same way Paul did...the same way Christ did...you take the focus off of you and put the focus on the job at hand. Meeting others needs. Washing their feet. Feeding them. Housing them. Bathing them. Putting them to bed.

My heart is heavy with saddness even now ...thinking of those people...I wonder how Christ's heart felt when He thought of us on the cross?

We Must Engage!

2005-04-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

Living in the Bible Belt of Texas all my life, I have become accustomed to feel of "leather" around my waist. Not too mention, the brassy belt buckel of pride that says, "Hey,I am a Christian!" Gathering each week with my "posse", the really good cowboys met 3 times, to talk about home on the range, the good book, and how we can correl the "wild mustangs." We watch from the high mountain tops, looking below as they run in herds, amazed by their numbers, their strength, their beauty. But do we run with them...OH NO! That could be dangerous...we could get lost in the stampede. Most times we keep our distance, return to our campsite, huddle around the fire for warmth, talk about whats going on out there in the wild west, and go to bed.

Being in the "wild west", so to speak, I feel a little lost. You see for last 5 years, my whole life revolved around the campsite....church. I worked there, worshiped there, all my friends were somehow connected to the church, it was my social life, work life, and spiritual life. And usually when I did encounter a "wild mustang" I was in the company of other bearers of the belt buckle. Kind of boosts the confidence...now I find myself alone...and wondering where I fit in out on the range. My instinct, only bc its what I have known, is to retreat within the church walls. You know we what do...circle up the wagons and have our own community. Then it strikes me...did Christ hang out in the church all the time. No he was associated with sinners...even ate with them...IN THEIR HOUSES. "Whoah, whaoh...that is a little out there don't you think?" Yes it is for a little baptist girl, but not for God's girl.

I am learning...that it might be better (Now if you are baptist grown cowboy..HOLD onto your saddle for this one!) to go...maybe (hold tight now) even have a glass of wine or go dancing with them, so that I may build a relationship. And by building, and LOVING.....I may one day share Christ with them. Very contraversial among the belt buckles...stirs up the campfire if you will.

Bottom line: There is no impact without contact. We must engage!

"Please Try Again"

2005-04-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

These are the words I read on my Dr. Pepper (1 in 6 win) cap. Man you'd think, one in six, those are pretty good odds. And yet, I sure have read alot of "please try again" messages. Makes me wonder if they really do put a winner in every six drinks. Regardlesss, I kind of feel like this is the message for me right now. Nothing seems to say "winner". In fact, the message I feel more times than not is "loser." Now I know that is not a good thought and probably from the enemy himself but seriously can't we hook a girl up with a winning DP. =)

Tonight we went to another small group. All nice people...I just feel on the outside and I get in the car thinking.....will this ever be home? feel like home? can we make it here? financially? will we have a life here? friends? career? Just enough to cause tears to fall and the jeep to pull into the nearest gas station.....for a Dr. Pepper. (No Sonic here) And as I twisted my cap in anticipation that I would be a winner....I was disappointed. I realized that its like that in so many areas of life..I get my hopes all up thinking...I am so going to win...only to be disappointed by the words..."please try again." But you know what? Even though I didn't win a free DP, I do have a DP in my hand and it tastes amazing. So for now I will enjoy my Dr. Pepper and you know.....I will "try again." You see lucky for me, my father doesn't work on 1 in 6 chances but in "promises" of His word. So I can always open up His word and find more than refreshment....I find what can truely quench my thirst.

Sunny in San Fran

2005-04-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Jeff and I traveled north to the bay area to visit with the Cranks (his parents) and see Becki Porter. Becki was my roommate in Texas and now lives in Jeff's hometown. (Tell me God isn't always at work behind the scenes.)It was rainy Friday while we traveled but the rest of the weekend was beautiful. Saturday Becki and I walked around Walnut Creek Downtown area, got a pedicure(met two different christian girls in the nail shop), went to her YL office, hung out and did a whole lot of chatting and solving everyone's problems (basically the world) except our own. Then we met back up with Jeff at his parent's house and hung out in the back yard which has a back drop of a mountain, ate pork chops, strawberries and ice cream, and then sat around a fire and looked at stars. Sweet conversation and memories. Sunday we all got up and went to church. Jeff's family introduced Becki to some people and Becki is even going to housesit for them this weekend. I love it when a "god" plan comes together. It was 74 so we sat outside and soaked up the sun and had a grilled hamburger and baked beans. (Almost just like a Momma Huey burger but not the same.) All in all it was a sweet weekend with family and friends.

Jeff started his job with ej gallo today. He got up at butt crack so that he could be at the vinyard bright and early. It is 500 acres so he had to be trained on an ATV safety because he has to ride one thru the vinyard. rough huh? Anyway, I spoke briefly with him and he really enjoyed his day. He will work there two days a week and then go full time in the summer after he finishes this quarter up.

Other than that, I am still trying to connect and feel at home. It is very hard at times but if I focus on what I DO KNOW instead of all the what I DON'T KNOWS.....i realize that I am very blessed.

Booty on Pirates Cove

2005-04-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I got to see a familiar face, Becki Porter. It was so nice to just "be" with someone who knows me and loves me. We had a sweet time of hanging out and exploring San Luis Obispo. Saturday, we woke up spent time with Jesus on the roof with a cup of coffee and then headed out for a walk. We walked about a mile and half to Pismo Beach. Walked along the beach and then once we got to the pier we journeyed up to the beach town of pismo. We had lunch and enjoyed the little shops and food. We even treated ourselves to carmel apples.

Sunday we went to worship and remember it was only a year ago that we were in Prague celebrating Christ there. sigh...alot has changed in this last year. Sometimes it is still hard to believe that Jeff is in my life and the love of my life. And I live in California on the beautiful central coast. Then we went on a hike with Tiona, who is a friend of Jeff's. She gave us a beautiful guided hike around Montana De Oro...near Morro Bay. Everything from mountains to sandy beach dunes with a vast veiw of untouched coastline. Breathtaking....especially for chubby kids going uphill. I will hopefully have a few picts to share soon.

Monday was a hard day...lots of tears for Melodee. So I took a personal day, and Beck and i went on our own hike just down the road from me. It is a beautiful trail manicured with flowers of all colors.....and the best part ..you are right above the ocean. The is something about the ocean waves that soothe the restless soul. God's creation speaks to me daily....I am trying to write the windows as I see them...but sometimes I just soak them in. ANYWAY...the trail wasn't that long..dead end. But there was another trail .....some might call it a "condemed" we called it adventure. We could see a secluded beach and we tried to get to it. However IF we got down..no way we could get back up...mud slid area. So we went higher and around the beach..we we found the most amazing bluffs. We climbed the rocks and sat on the edge...just talking with Jesus. Praying for each other and those we love. After a time...we decided to try out the trail that went lower....hopefully to the beach. Sure enough we got to the beach...we had to wait til the waves went out to jump to the beach. We were so excited we were there..just enjoying the little secret beach we had found. THEN becki noticed we were not alone. And the figure she saw.......she wasn't sure if he had clothes...this was a time that i am thankful i can't see distances. Sure enough he comes out from behind the rocks.....naked! huh HELLO! He spreads eagle and starts walking towards us....we turn around and begin to leave. We check..yep he is still following. You have never seen two girls jump the ocean and scurry up the mountain so quick...of course Becki left me is the dust bc i started laughing. I was like great leave me for the naked man. Later we found out that that beach is Pirate's Cove....a nude beach. Go figure. Good for a laugh I guess...but I won't be going back.....just a little scary for a naked man to be chasing after you. "Booty" on Pirates cove is NO TREASURE!

Watch out for the flying banana peel...they can hurt.

2005-03-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

This week has been good. I have met alot of people that work at Sycamore and they were all very nice to me. To be honest it was a little boring at times because I was observing. However, this next week I will actually train for my job so it should be at least busier.

Thursday night was warm so Jeff and I went to the Farmers Market. I was so excited bc I didn't have to bundle up. He was coming in town from a conference so we met downtown. I was a little frustrated bc parking is tricky, but once I saw him standing there with flowers in hand. .......it was all good. We ate at firestone, my absolutely favorite tri-tip sandwich, and then we walked the streets. We ended up with a 6 pound bag of clementines and a flat of strawberries...all for about twelve bucks. The fruit tastes so good. Reminds me of choir tour in Salinas.

Friday, Jeff met me at work and we ate at the Gardens Restruant. I get a discount since I'm an employee. It was a pretty day. We sat outside, ate alot, and laughed at how messy we are. The sirloin burger is really good. After work I came home and visited with Susie. (Be praying for her, they found a mass in her pancrease..she has an MRI on Monday.) Jeff and I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and chill for the night. But he wanted to stop by the auto parts store first. As he got back in the car I was finishing a banana. Since I had seen him throw an orange peel out earlier and say "it biodegratable"...I thought I would do the same. He ducked down and I flung it so that it would fly out his window. SLAP......HEHE BANANA PEELS MAKE THAT NOISE WHEN FLUNG ONTO SKIN....Jeff came up just in time to get smacked across the face. I laughed so hard....even now it makes me laugh. If only you could have seen his face. And then he is all...."what are you thinking...you can't throw a banana peel out the window!" I didn't really see the difference but I laughed forever on that.

Today we went to look at a truck just for fun. Turns out the guy used to be a pastor...it was fun to visit with him. And again be reminded that even though I "feel" alone sometimes...there are so many brothers and sisters in Christ around every corner. It is fun to be apart of God's family. Its big and diverse...and always growing and changing.

Day 1 on the job.

2005-03-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

So besides kicking the dog's water this morning and spilling everywhere....Melodee changing clothes at the last minute. Everything went pretty smoothly.....basically I will travel the whole hotel to get an idea of what ever dept/person does. THEN next week I start training on my job. Interesting. God continues to remind me that so many need him......and as I hear their stories my heart hurts. Wondering do you know Christ? So maybe one day...I can share the ultimate story with them. The story of Jesus' love. For now I'm going to make a quick run to the store and then go home, maybe go for a walk, or just sit and listen to the secrets of the waves...and eat dinner with Jeff.

By the way, yesterday marked one month. So far so good. =)

Even weeds have flowers.

2005-03-06T11:41:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I have been sad. What started out as a good sunny weekend, has turned into tears. Stupid. I keep trying to put my finger on it and come up with everything is new. And the only thing that is not new, is Jeff. So I just want to be with Jeff 24/7 but I can't bc he has school and big papers to write. I know this in my head but in my heart I struggle. I (being a girl) cry when he leaves or I drive home. I guess bc I don't feel like I have anything that is "mine." I don't have a place to just be...and then I got mad and upset yesterday bc I went to the beach to just sit in the sun and listen....I got mad bc it was freakin cold. I had on a sweatshirt and was still cold and yet to my amazement there are really stupid people in the water...which is also butt cold. So I sat there curled up in a tight ball bc I was cold........and finally decided to swing. There are swings right on the beach. It helped some but by the time Jeff got there (he ran ...I drove) I was sad and upset. And then the thoughts came....it is different here, and what about this job...I will probably hate it, what am I doing, and what the heck I don't even know what I want to be.......and on and on....so I cried. and then I cried more bc I ruined Jeff's day. This morning I awoke with the same feeling of tears...showered and went to church. I was late but oh well......I need to just be in church. I at least fit there...or it at least feels more normal.

Then I get mad at myself, Melodee you are stupid. Life is good. You live in a beautiful place, have a boyfriend that loves you and a god that cares for you. Get over yourself and be happy. So I write..and read...and try to listen. I don't have any answers but observations.

Yesterday I was sad ..thinking, sitting outside Jeff's place, asking God please...just let me see a window of you...of who you want me to be...help me to notice.....open my heart to you. Ok the only thing I notice were the weeds. Ugly weeds popping thru the concrete.....weeds are stupid. (by the way everything in my mind is "stupid" right now)....and then i noticed "even weeds have flowers." There were tiny yellow buds just waiting to open soon. I don't know if it is from God or just a Melodee moment but that is what I come back to.....This life is hard and annoying at times and we don't like when we don't know the plan.....or how things look or feel. Everything can seem so wrong.....lets face it People pull weeds. Bc they grow in places that they are not suppose to be but usually they keep coming back.......so even though my fears and doubts are ugly and keep resurfacing.....doesn't mean good can't be seen. Even the weeds in your life can point to God.....remind you of the good. Romans 8:28 "All things work together for the good of those who love God." All things...even stupid tears, and stupid jobs, and stupid cold beaches and strangers you live with........sigh....even the junk in your heart and life can show you a truth about God or His word. Yes even weeds have flowers and as I drive and see a ditch full of flowers.....it is beautiful and reminds me to God cares and creates beauty. I think He may be saying...."hey dork...why don't you consider the lilies of the field.....and the bird of the air......do i not care for them.........don't worry silly girl. Just trust in my word and believe in my power. I got this."

So I ask God to help me not to cry but to see the good and trust in good. I ask that he protect my mind, and heart from satan..and his lies. Help me to see and believe truth.....and for today help me to have simple joy and peace. So I go with prayers in my mind and I will turn on some happy music in my jeep, find a sunny place, and rest. Hopefully by tongiht when I see Jeff, I will have found my "happy thought"