Uncensored Thoughts and Emotions

This week "my kids" are at camp and for the second year, I am not. So today when I took lunch I just drove and cried, wishing I was there. There are so many things I don't understand, questions, doubts, fears, and just the fact that camp is fun and right now...this is not. Bummer huh? It just seems like no matter what I do or try here...it isn't easy.

For example: I took a second job..just saturdays..which is a blessing but the first week I run out for lunch...ticket. Not speeding or doing anything wrong. He ran my TEXAS plates....registration is out. Then this past weekend, I went to the other store......first customer..the register broke as well as the credit card machine. I'm like are you kidding me? Thankfully God sent 3 angels (ladies who were shopping and fellow sisters in christ) who fixed both machines within 20 minutes and reminded me there are believers all around. Thanks goodness.

Still there is a saddness I cannot shake. I am not sure what God has up his sleeve but I'm just trying to see the good and purservere. I guess I would ask for those that "keep up" through this blog.....pray for me. It has been 5 months and I am so tired of being sad. It is stupid. I'm not miserable or anything....I'm just ready for something to give here.

Of course it could be just around the corner...I have an interview this week with a church. I don't know if I'm a fit or not but thats what interviews are for right? And there are changes at my job now so who knows what will happen there. As for living situation....so yeah I may change that as well. I need a place that I can at least put up some of my stuff up. Right now it is just my clothes and a few pictures. So that doesn't help me to feel at home either.

Ok well I have "vented" enough.........I don't know just helps to "talk" it out.